“…though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials…”
-1 Peter 1:6

Photo by Jamison Riley on Unsplash

One of the most unsettling grief experiences for church leaders is when their senior pastor abruptly leaves. Sorting through the debris of his choices and living with the repercussions that reverberate in the church, are part of the painful aftermath.

It’s not unusual for the leadership team to lack confidence in how to move forward. After all, who was prepared or trained for this trial?

Over the last 7 years I have been the intentional interim pastor at four different churches scattered literally from coast to coast. Three of these churches lost their senior pastor due to an affair. And in one of those churches the pastor also took his own life. So, I have had a front-row seat to watch boards and leadership teams struggle to lead with confidence during painful aftermath.

Responding to the trauma of transition

I have observed several tendencies for how church leaders respond to the trauma of unexpected and unwanted succession.

First, they sincerely want to care, like a shepherd, for the sheep. That is a very real need, and a very godly response.

But there is another response I’ve seen that is not as helpful. When, in the church, emotions are running high and the chaos is spinning deep, the leadership team must be careful not to get sucked into pain avoidance.

Remember what I mentioned in my last post? When the senior pastor unexpectedly bails, the rest of the leadership team is brought face-to-face with a VUCA season: a time when the church environment will be dominated by varying degrees of volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity.

How do you respond to pain?

 To have confidence to lead in this difficult and grieving time (cf. 1 Peter 1:6), a leader needs to be brutally honest with himself and with others about how his own heart is responding to the pain.

After all, pain challenges our leadership….pain challenges our theology….pain challenges our trust in God’s heart.

And here is the specific response to avoid: it’s not unusual for leadership teams to think that their former pastor’s sin is their only problem.

Why are we so prone to think or believe that the pastor’s moral collapse is the only issue and that otherwise the church is just fine? It can be one or a combination of the following factors:

• To think this way can be a form of protection. Obviously, the pastor’s hasty exit has dumped an overwhelming painful problem on the church. The protection mindset thinks, “We’ve got enough of a problem to handle without looking any further to see how deep the rabbit hole might actually go.” It’s the attitude that if we don’t move the furniture then the cock roaches won’t scatter!
• To think this way can be a form of control. When the senior pastor is involved on the wrong side of a moral issue, things get messy very quickly. Trying to define it as a single issue is often an attempt to make a complex situation more manageable. Anyone can juggle a single ball, but it’s more difficult when you’re handed three or more!
• To think this way can be a form of denial. To assess blame in a painful situation (it’s all his fault!) is a form of denial. And denial is a normal part of the grief process. It’s our instinctive response to pain. Now, at first it may be unclear how much responsibility others must accept, but rarely is it completely the fault of one.

Narrowly defining the problem doesn’t work

I have yet to see it work for leaders to try and work their way through a VUCA season by narrowly defining the problem their facing. That tactic won’t work when facing the threat of volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity.

But if the leadership team will openly talk about it, and agree together to resist the responses of protection, control or denial, a door will open to the necessary journey of healing and revitalization in the church body.

There’s another important response that will help church leadership teams lead their church with confidence through VUCA waters. And it’s the choice between distance and presence. But that topic will have to wait for my next blog.

For now, as an action point, consider discussing with others the following questions. Or add in the Comment section below key questions you think are important to ask at VUCA moments.

1. How deeply shaken am I, or are we as a team, over our senior pastor’s abrupt departure? What are the specific personal issues that I, or we, are feeling threatened by?
2. What in our church at this very moment is volatile, uncertain, complex or ambiguous (make a list under each item)?
3. Am I, or we, being tempted to deal with our unique VUCA setting with a response of protection, control or denial? How are those responses manifesting themselves?