Category Archives: Church leadership teams

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What to do When You’re No Longer Trusted

The Ripple You Can't Afford to Ignore

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When a pastor has a moral implosion, the collapse of his character sends shock waves in every direction. Like ripples on the surface of a pond, the resulting consequences from his choices rock the church deeply.

The most obvious shockwaves are physical: what ears hear, and eyes see. Church members hear the news of what he did (possibly struggling to believe it’s true), and his abruptly exit from the ministry is clearly seen (his physical absence is disturbing).

Yet woven amid the physical shockwaves of a moral implosion are powerful heart shockwaves that are too often ignored. One of the most significant is the repercussion of broken trust.

  • Trust is broken because the pastor said one thing but was living another.
  • Trust is broken as it’s now evident how he used his position for himself.
  • Trust is broken as people wonder when he spoke what was a lie and what was the truth.
  • Trust is broken as people feel foolish and angry for being deceived.

The significant and respected role that pastors have in the personal life of church members means that when trust is broken it may be a long time before people are willing to trust someone else in a similar role.

“Trust is like blood pressure. It’s silent, vital to good health, and if abused it can be deadly.”  -Frank Sonnenberg, author of Follow Your Conscience

Church leaders, who are left to pick-up the pieces after an abrupt pastoral departure, need to be aware that the most damaging nature of the broken trust shockwave is not physical but relational.

In addition, there is one other confusing and perplexing aspect of the broken trust shockwave. The damage is not restricted to the relationship between church member and the former pastor. Rightly or wrongly, it often splashes over on the rest of the leadership team. Broken trust with the pastor often results in broken trust with everyone else on the leadership team. Why? Here is what some are thinking:

  • If our pastor was doing this, were some of the rest of our leaders also doing it too?
  • How could our leaders not have known what he was doing? Were they covering it up?
  • If the moral failure was sexual, then often the women of the church wonder if the leadership team has objectified women? They don’t know if they are safe at church.

This scenario presents very real relational challenges to the leadership team. You can’t demand others trust you! Trust is broken quickly but rebuilt slowly. It’s much like a brick wall that collapses to rubble. Rebuilding takes time as one brick after another is put in place.

“When mistrust comes in, loves goes out.” –Irish proverb

Is it possible for the leadership team to design a strategy to rebuild trust? Absolutely. The strategy will need to incorporate at least two elements:

  1. Acknowledge the elephant in the room.

Publicly acknowledge that many in the church may not know if they can trust their leaders. It doesn’t matter if there is any truth to their doubts and skepticism. It’s the impression they have. Simply recognize that is the current tone in the church.

  1. Commit to the process of rebuilding trust.

Since rebuilding trust takes time, promise to work on earning the church’s trust again. Openly admit that this will not be a quick process but it’s important to the leadership team that the church trust them once again.

So once the broken trust is acknowledged, and there is a public commitment to rebuilding it, how do you move forward?

Ken Blanchard in his book Trust Works gives a great model of the key elements of trust. It’s called the ABCD model of trust. Leadership teams can use this model to identify which aspects of trust need attention.

Able
Does the church believe the leadership team has the competence to lead the church? This is more than having an educational degree or the experience of having served in that role for many years. It involves having Spirit-led wisdom, training, and skill.

Believable
Believability is all about a leader’s godly character as revealed in their behavior. Godly leaders have hearts of biblical integrity: what they are in public is what they are in private. They are not motivated by hidden or worldly agendas.

Connected
Trust is built, or rebuilt, when leaders demonstrate a sincere care for those they lead. They are open and available to those they lead. They listen well, they give their full attention in conversations, and they are quick to pray. In short, they are Christ-like shepherds caring for the hearts of others.

Dependable
We trust leaders we can count on. When they give their word, they do it. We can rely on them because we believe they are following the Lord. Dependable leaders stand in the gap and are willing to sacrifice. As Aslan told the first King and Queen of Narnia in The Magician’s Nephew, lead the charge and be the last one in retreat.

All it takes is one of the above elements to be damaged for trust to be broken. And, the more elements in question, the deeper the broken trust, and the more time it will take to rebuild.

When trust is broken, the first step towards rebuilding is to ask and identify which of the four elements of trust has been damaged. As I’ve already mentioned, it doesn’t matter if the accusation is real or only the impression others have. Start right where people are and commit yourself to showing over time how as one of the church leaders you are a person of competence, integrity, who cares, and is reliable.

These four elements of trust can give you a template for building an action plan to rebuild trust with the church. Ask others to give you the time and opportunity to repair what’s been damaged.

Many a man proclaims his own loyalty, but who can find a trustworthy man? -Proverbs 20:6

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How to Respond to Climate Change in Your Church

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One of the most difficult aspects of adjusting to an abrupt pastoral transition in a church is the immediate climate change which occurs. Everyone senses, almost overnight, a chill in the air.

It’s as if a cold front has blown through in the form of an unexpected blizzard which dropped the temperature, froze the ground, and left a thick blanket of snow over everything.

It’s puzzling and disturbing to have the former warm climate of joy, enthusiasm, and expectancy be so quickly replaced by the icy conditions of suspicion, doubt, and sadness.

The question everyone is asking, “We know what happened to our pastor, but what in the world has happened among us?”

Responding to a Church’s Climate Change

Some assume a bad storm has hit, but things will soon clear up. Others fear an ice age has started and nothing will ever be the same. The reality is between the two.

When the senior or lead pastor of a church abruptly leaves, the church enters a new season that is as real as the literal change of seasons –only more sudden. The new season is going to act and feel much like a literal winter.

So how should the church respond to this kind of abrupt climate change?

In the northern hemisphere when we shift to winter, typically the temperature drops, trees and foliage lose their leaves, and the ground gets covered in a blanket of snow. It appears that nature has shut down and nothing is going on. Yet despite appearances, God is at work below the surface where we can’t see!

Our God is accomplishing 4 major things:

  • The soil’s pH factor (the balance between acidic and alkaline) is restored.  For if the soil is too acidic a plant can’t absorb essential nutrients, and if the soil is too alkaline then certain nutrients in the soil become toxic to the plant.
  • The soil is revitalized and rejuvenated by rain and cold weather, for the soil needs a break (rest).
  • Cold weather and dormancy help guard both soil and plants against insects, nematodes and diseases.
  • For permanent plants, their root system is being strengthened and readied for a new season of growth.

If God, who cares for His creation, has this in mind for the ground and plants, how much more does He have good in mind when a church goes through a winter season.

Pray for winter to do its work. -Rick Foster

So back to my question, how do we respond? Pray that winter would do its work!

Specifically, pray that the Lord would do in His church what He intends winter to do for creation.

1. Pray that the Lord would restore the church.

Restore any balance we need in our corporate and our personal lives. Bring us back from any extremes towards which we have drifted.

2. Pray that the Lord would revitalize the church.

We want a joy, passion and enthusiasm for what Christ has done for us, and what He wants to do in our community. May in unity we pursuit Your agenda with all we have.

3. Pray that the Lord would protect the church.

We recognize we are in a spiritual battle and the lives of people are at stake. Guard your flock against temptation, deceptions, lies, and accusations of the evil one.

4. Pray that the Lord would ready the church.

The day will come when a new pastor becomes part of our church family. Prepare us by helping us release the past so we can embrace the new thing You have in mind.

Don’t ignore or resist the climate change that’s occurring in your church because of an abrupt pastoral transition. Instead, embrace it and pray for winter to do its work!

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If your church is experiencing the winter season because your lead or senior pastor has abruptly left, TRM has a number of resources that will benefit the leadership team. These materials will not only provide a common vocabulary for discussing the needs of your church, but they will also help you discern the issues to be addressed in a timely manner.

“Aftermath” is a practical workbook for the leadership team to read which will help them shepherd the church during a season few were prepared for.

“The First 90 Days” outlines how the leadership team approaches the first months in order to position the church to recover from their pastor’s quick exit.

Both resources are immensely practical and give solid biblical guidance on shepherding the church well. Go to the TRM Store to purchase a copy for each leadership team member.

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Redemptive Questions for Painful Times

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When asking instead of declaring is the right approach



The importance of asking the right questions.
Photo by Emily Morter on Unsplash

When a senior or lead pastor abruptly leaves, shock waves of change reverberate throughout the church.

One of the temptations the leadership team must guard against will be to simply hunker-down in a defensive posture in order to endure this painful season. The mind-set can easily be, “The church body has experienced so much change recently, they can’t, or shouldn’t have to handle more.”

And yet, those who have studied and led groups through even painful leadership transitions tell us that this unique season is actually a strategic time to take intentional initiative.

The leadership partners at Praxis suggest that in the disruptive season of leadership transition there are 3 redemptive questions to ask.

Instead of putting the church at further risk, the answers to these questions will “demonstrate love, the bearing of burdens, and keeping of trust”. Some might think these questions will pull the church apart, when actually asking these questions will pull everyone together.

Admittedly, the pursuit of answers to these 3 questions will feel counter-intuitive at a time when everyone in your church is still reeling from the abrupt departure of your senior pastor. But wise leaders will gently, yet firmly, push the envelope and ask the following:

Question 1

Where do we have newly-unlocked freedom to be creative?

To think about being creative and trying new things, right after the senior pastor has left, requires facing the issue of loyalty. It can feel disloyal to consider alternative approaches and ideas when the former pastor had his way and his methods.

Yet no one way is perfect. William Bridges in his book Managing Transitions argues that the season right after the exodus of top leadership is a creative time. “People who are sure they have the answers stop asking questions. And people who stop asking questions never challenge the status quo. Without such challenges, an organization can drift slowly into deep trouble…”

Give permission to those who are your committed stake holders to be innovative and think outside the box. How can we do it better (efficiency)? How can we reach more (effectiveness)?

Question 2

Where are there newly-possible opportunities to restore broken norms, flawed assumptions, hurting people, and inefficient channels.

The abrupt departure of the lead pastor can actually bring clarity. If his quick exit is due to a major moral implosion in his life, then typically his hidden sin was also causing a blindness to other broken matters.

Avoid demonizing him or trying to preserve the memory that he was a saint. The reality is like every pastor, he had his own set of weaknesses and strengths. It’s not unusual for the former pastor’s weaknesses to have been overlooked or endured, but with his leaving, now is the time for objective evaluation.

Gather the leadership team and have an honest conversation that probes with questions like these:

  • Is our church’s mission (the way we do church) biblically balanced so that our efforts bring glory to God? How does our church’s ministry measure-up to the Great Commandment and the Great Commission?
  • Has our ministry accepted worldly strategies, standards, or outcomes? What role does marketing, spreadsheets, and organizational structure play in our measure of success?
  • Have we marginalized or ignored certain people groups within our church? Who is hurting at this time that we know about, and are we oblivious to the pain of others?
  • Are we financing and staffing our ministry in the most efficient way possible? What values are behind our resource allocation choices?
  • Has there been a consistent theme of dissent or criticism that we never seriously heard? Are we authentically open to listening and considering the perspectives of others?

Question 3

Where can we as leaders take risks, even sacrificial ones, for the sake of others?

It will take a great deal of humility, but does the leadership team need to confess and ask forgiveness from the church about their choices, insensitivity, or blindness?

Has the abrupt departure of the lead pastor revealed any systemic dysfunction in the church which needs immediate attention?

Does the leadership team need to take extra time to make themselves available to listen? Are there individuals or groups within the church who haven’t sensed they had a “voice” and their concerns or needs were really heard?

Are there ministries within the church that need to end? Are there newly opened windows of opportunity for ministry that need to be grasped?

These 3 redemptive questions are part of a unique mindset leaders can bring to the season of leadership transition which will keep the church from just thinking of surviving but rather thriving.

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For a more in-depth evaluation of the leadership transition season and what specific steps need to be taken to shepherd the church well, go to the TRM Store to purchase a copy of the practical workbook “Aftermath: Leading the Church After Abrupt Pastoral Transition”.

If the trauma of pastoral transition in your church needs a more personal touch, consider the consulting options found in the TRM Store. I bring the experience of helping a variety of churches after their senior pastor had a moral implosion.

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Cultivate the Right Mindset

The first response of church leaders to their pastor's affair

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You remember the moment all too well. Maybe it was a phone call, or a meeting face-to-face, but it left you shocked…shaken…and unnerved. You heard what you hoped you would never have to hear. Your senior pastor had an affair.

The decisions and choices the leadership team of a church makes in the first 60 to 90 days after the pastor’s affair determine how well the church recovers. But those who make up the leadership team, typically, have not been prepared or trained for this possibility. They honestly don’t know what to do next.

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