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Rick Foster

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Shepherding Upset Sheep

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When the Grief Emotions of Others Splash on You

The more abrupt the pastor’s departure, the more it disrupts the church. And nowhere is this felt more acutely than in our relationships.

When the senior, or lead pastor, quickly exits for any reason, people are going to react to it as a loss. Depending on how close they were to the epicenter of what happened, it is normal and healthy for there to be grief reactions…even strong ones.  

So in your role as a leader, you can count on this….there will be times when someone will emote all over you in the church lobby, in a phone call, on social media, or via an email. Their emotions might be extreme, raw, even accusatory.

Most of us are not good at handling these moments when that other person pours out their grieving emotions. It feels personal…it’s awkward…we’ll want them to calm down…we’ll want to “fix” them…we’ll be nervous that what we say will make matters worse. Yet as a member of the leadership team, you are tasked with loving the church well through this difficult pastoral transition.

So how do we shepherd when it feels like the sheep are in attack mode? Let me pass along the practical suggestions William Bridges gives in his book “Managing Transitions” on how to respond to the 7 most common grief emotions that typically splash on you:

1. How to deal with denial: treat it as a normal first response in the grief process. It’s a natural self-protective act to pain. Calmly affirm the truth of what has happened, but don’t expect them to immediately accept it.

2. How to deal with anger: listen carefully and acknowledge that their anger is understandable. Don’t take on the blame if it is being misdirected toward you. Encourage them to respond biblically to their anger if they have misbehaved.

3. How to deal with bargaining: distinguish this from real problem-solving. Keep a realistic outlook, and don’t be swayed by their desperate arguments, threats, or impossible promises. It is normal, when experiencing grief, for some to insist that something needs to be done immediately.

4. How to deal with anxiety: their anxiety may be silent or expressed. Just keep feeding them the information as it comes and commiserate with them when it doesn’t. Encourage them to invite the Lord into their anxious feelings (Philippians 4:6-7).

5. How to deal with sadness: this is at the heart of grieving. Encourage people to say what they are feeling and share your sad feelings too. Sympathize. Remind them that the Lord himself was “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3). He understands the burden we feel.

6. How to deal with disorientation: give them the opportunity to get things off their chest. Reassure them that feeling disoriented is natural and others are feeling it too. Check in with them regularly. If the disorientation continues, direct them to a trained grief counselor.

7. How to deal with depression: Make sure they know it’s normal to feel this way, but they need to talk to someone who is trained to help them work through it. Assure them that the leadership team is actively involved in shepherding the church through this painful transition (they need to know matters are not out of control).

There are times when we are oblivious to the obvious. Your response, however these grief emotions come at you, needs to be face-to-face. That other person needs to hear the tone of your voice, they need to see your body language, they need to be able to look you in the eye. They need your personal shepherding.

Only use technology only to acknowledge you have received what they sent, and set up a time to meet together!

As a leader in your church, when the pastor has abruptly left, you may be deeply hurting as you attempt to help others. I’ll address the reality of being a wounded leader in an upcoming blog. Yet if you prepare yourself to respond to these 7 emotions, you can be a calming presence as their intense emotions won’t faze you.

The wonderful result? You will be a purveyor of hope. And you will be a good shepherd of others as you have a faith-filled hope that the Lord is going to make something good come from this loss.

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The first 90 days after the pastor abruptly leaves is a critical time for the church. Most leadership teams need help and assurance in shepherding their church well through this difficult transition.

I produced a workbook that compiles 10 years of my observations as an interim pastor with churches going through abrupt pastoral transition. This publication not only gives you the information you need to know, but each chapter ends with group exercises to apply to your unique setting.

Click here to go to my ‘Store’ to get a copy for each member of your leadership team. Multiple copy discounts available.

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When Leaders are Lightning Rods….and how to stay Grounded!

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Handling the Explosive Energy of Accusations

Photo by Lucy Chian on Unsplash

Designers of airplanes, buildings, and tall antennas know that it’s not if but when a lightning strike will come. So, the design incorporates features to minimize damage and dissipate the energy.

When the senior, or lead pastor, exits a church in a hasty or abrupt manner, it sets up each member of the remaining leadership team to be a lightning rod for a wide assortment of allegations and accusations.

The high voltage strike may come via an email, a written letter, a phone call, or a face-to-face conversation. And like a literal lightning strike, it’s typically unexpected, emotionally shocking, and potentially quite damaging.

(more…)
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When It's Not Your Fault yet You're Feeling the Heat!

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Photo by Hannah Gibbs on Unsplash

“The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and the Lord tests hearts.” -Proverbs 17:3 

“If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.” -Harry S. Truman 

One of the challenges in giving godly leadership to a body of believers when the church goes through abrupt pastoral transition is the rising temperature.

It’s not just that people can get ‘hot’ over their frustration or disappointment, but the heat of the moment is intended to do a work of grace in the heart of each person on the leadership team.

Consider how you’re reacting to the abrupt departure of your pastor….

  • How this took you by surprise.
  • How it’s the last thing you wanted to have to deal with during your tenure on the board.
  • How you’re puzzled over what really happened.
  • How you’re dismayed by the moral failure.
  • How mystified you are by the diverse opinions over how much to tell the church and what are the appropriate next steps in moving forward.

When the Lord turns up the heat

Believe it or not, the Lord is smack dab in the middle of all this! And He is using the furnace-like conditions not only for His good purposes in the life of the church, but also in the life and heart of each leader (eg. Genesis 50:20).

Yet in the middle of the chaos it’s so easy to overlook what the Lord wants to do in us as leaders. After all, for the sake of the church we’re focused on….

  • Responding to the threat of instability because of the leadership vacuum.
  • Achieving helpful results quickly because things can’t stay as they are.
  • Caring for those who were hurt and wounded by the abrupt departure.
  • Examining the problem and getting to the root truth of what happened.

What is being tested?

Wise is the church leadership team who uses the transition season as an opportunity to link arms and support each other by honestly admitting how each one is doing. Are our hearts dismayed or shaken? Are we having difficulty forgiving the pastor who left? Are we feeling threatened by accusations from others, or their demands that this mess is “fixed” quickly? How is our faith being challenged that our God is for us and will provide for us?

Feeling the heat?

When there is an abrupt pastoral transition it tests a leader’s heart. It makes us face serious questions: are my decisions being driven by a desire to avoid pain? Is there a deep expression of faith or fear (fear by the way will be seen in trying to overly control)? Do I want to be seen as being right? Is there reluctance to be open about any sin on my part?

Take some time today to get alone and write down how this crucible is impacting your heart. Take careful note of your emotions. Where are you puzzled…afraid…unnerved…sad…angry…judgmental. If you’re serious about this, ask some trusted friends to tell you how they perceive you’re doing!

Even under the best of circumstances, pastoral transition is unnerving to everyone in the church. Godly leaders are not only mindful of how the change is impacting the church body, but also the leadership team and themselves.

The crucible or furnace is not an easy environment for leaders, but the end result is worth it! Even during pastoral transition the Lord, by the power of His Spirit, can achieve a greater sense of unity…deeper spiritual maturity…a refined and clearer sense of mission and purpose…and ultimately a broader awe of the goodness of God.

A Powerful Resource

If your church is experiencing pastoral transition, especially an abrupt one, then the leadership team definitely needs coaching on how to shepherd well during this unique season. 

Click here to get a copy of my workbook “Aftermath: Leading the Church after Abrupt Pastoral Transition”.

It gives practical guidance on how to navigate those first 90-days after your lead pastor has quickly made an exit.

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Why Leaders Need to Go Play in the Rain

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Photo by Neonbrand on Unsplash

When a church experiences an abrupt departure by their senior pastor all sorts of chaos and confusion is unleashed.

One of the critical skills that is often damaged or lost is the ability to tell time. Really? How?

Whether we use a smart phone, watch, or an “old school” calendar/planner on paper, we are always conscious of the ever-flowing passing of time.

The scriptures encourage us to take into account how time is a resource to invest and not squander.

“…making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” (Eph. 5:16)

“And this do, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed.”  (Romans 13:11)

“Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.” (Col. 4:5)

So how do we address and steward the passing of time in a way that makes the best use of it? We have various measurements of time to structure our lives, to plan, to evaluate, and make our efforts more efficient.

Depending on the situation we might need to account for nano-seconds, seconds, minutes, or hours. We also think in terms of days, weeks, months, and years. On rare occasions we might even give thought to decades, generations, a life-time, or even a century.

But did you notice I left out one measurement of time? It’s a key biblical measurement that we acknowledge exists, but often is missing from our planning and evaluations. It’s the timeframe of a season.

When there has been an abrupt pastoral transition, we need to keep the time-frame of seasons in mind!

In some parts of our world there are four very distinct seasons each year. Other latitudes have but two (wet and dry). Regardless of the number, how often do we view, evaluate, and make plans through the lens of a season?

This missing perspective puts a church experiencing pastoral transition in a very real position of weakness, and even danger. For when the senior, or lead pastor exits, the church enters a new season, and winter is the best analogy for what it looks and feels like.

Leadership teams who have worked well together during a “summer” season in their church often struggle when “winter” comes. Either they don’t recognize what has changed, or they don’t adapt to the new season. They don’t want to go out and play in the rain!

Consider 5 basic elements about seasons that the Bible mentions….

1. God gave us the seasons.

  • “You have fixed all the boundaries of the earth; you have made summer and winter.” –Psalm 74:17
  • “While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.” –Genesis 8:22

Seasons are part of the divine created order. God has designed that change will be an intimate part of the flow of life. We should expect it, whether they are literal seasons or more figurative. When there is pastoral transition, a new season has begun that is God-ordained.

2. Each season has its own characteristics (rain, sun, heat, cold, effect on plants, etc).

  • “I will give you your rains in their season, and the land shall yield its increase, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit.” –Leviticus 26:4
  • “…he will give the rain for your land in its season, the early rain and the later rain, that you may gather in your grain and your wine and your oil.” –Deuteronomy 11:14

Our tendency is to struggle with change because we compare the current season we are in with a past season which we prefer. Karl Vaters has made the observation, “Because we can’t stop seasons from happening, we have to stop kicking against them.” Wise is the person, or team, who works with the transition season, knowing that the unique features of that season sets-up the coming season to be what it should.

3. The cycle of seasons is intended to bless man.

  • “The Lord will open to you his good treasury, the heavens, to give the rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hands.” –Deuteronomy 28:12
  • “And I will make them and the places all around my hill a blessing, and I will send down the showers in their season; they shall be showers of blessing.” –Ezekiel 34:26

Seasonal change is a blessing, not a curse! We may not see it or realize it, but each season has its own purpose…even the transition season after losing the lead pastor. Whether it’s a literal season or a season in the life of a church, God wants to enrich our lives through it. In each season God is at work. We may not always understand His reasons or purposes, but we can trust His loving hand.

4. There is an appropriate activity for man in each season.

  •  “He who gathers in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who brings shame.” –Proverbs 10:5
  •  “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die. A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted.” –Ecclesiastes 3:1+2

Just as it’s appropriate to wear the right clothing to match a season, so there are appropriate expectations and behaviors for each season. Farmers don’t plant in winter, nor do they run their combines through the fields expecting to reap in spring. Even a transition season has its own activities to perform, and its own share of opportunities to grab.

5. Like the seasons of the year, there are seasons in a church.

  • “…preach the word; be ready in season and out of season…” -2 Timothy 4:2
  • “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time (season), because the days are evil.” –Ephesians 5:15+16

We may always want our church to be in a continual season of growth, expansion, and harvest. But when there is a change of leadership, especially senior pastoral leadership, the church typically enters a season where rest, renewal, and recovery are the dominate themes (winter). Wise is the leadership team that embraces this new season, and leads by example so the church will embrace it as well.

Next time it rains, go out and play in it!

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For more insights and practical help on how a church leadership team can adapt to the transition season after losing their senior pastor, purchase a copy of my recently published workbook: “Aftermath”.

You can order it at www.interimpastor.org/store. If you sign-up for my email list I will send you a 20% discount code to use on either a digital or printed copy.

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How Great Leaders Respond to Pain

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When a Knee Jerk Reaction makes it Worse!

Photo by Nik Shuliahim on Unsplash

The response to pain is a major indicator that separates great leaders from the mediocre.

One of the problems with experiencing pain is that we want to distance ourselves from it as soon as possible. The more acute the pain the more rapid our response to withdraw or protect ourselves.  

After all, we’re all hard-wired physically to have knee jerk reactions: a quick, instinctive response by our nervous system which often prevents further injury or damage.

A physical knee jerk reaction is one thing, but a mental knee jerk is often not helpful. Church leaders (lay or staff), facing the excruciating pain of an abrupt departure by their senior or lead pastor, need to be careful of how their knee jerk reactions can actually make a difficult situation worse!

Knee jerk: a quick reaction that does not allow you time to consider something carefully

Great leaders are aware of the temptation to quick reaction, so they intentionally pause to consider carefully the options in front of them.

Here are the top 5 knee jerk reactions that can make the abrupt departure of your pastor worse.

1. It’s all about him.

When the pastor morally implodes the collateral damage in the church is painfully extensive. His choices and what he did is on everyone’s mind, it becomes the main topic of conversation, and it causes a deep emotional ache. In wanting to distance ourselves from the sin, the danger is believing that what the pastor did is the only problem.

This is not going to be easy for you to accept, but when the lead pastor has a moral meltdown there is usually a systemic problem in the church. Is he responsible for his choices? Absolutely! Yet his sin occurred within a corporate culture, and except in rare situations, that culture to some degree contributed to his choices. Wise is the leader who is willing to ask the hard question of how we contributed to this.  

2. Kicking into FIDO (Forget It and Drive On).

Even though most church leaders have great godly character, many are uncomfortable handling deep emotion in themselves or in others. The abrupt departure of the senior pastor causes the church to deeply grieve yet few on the leadership team know how to help others mourn. So instead of taking the time to resolve the loss the tactic often used is forget it and move on.

Ken Cope has written, “For too long we have been taught that shedding tears is a sign of weakness and that you must not wallow in your sorrow. As a result of this approach to grief, we have a whole generation of people with unresolved issues, hurts, and pain in their past that have been shallowly dealt with at best, and at worse have been ignored and discounted completely. The result has been an increasingly shallow Christianity and a profound lack of understanding of the nature of God and how, as His people, we are to move and live in a fallen world.”  (p.9 “A Sacred Sorrow: Experience Guide”)

Pressing the church to quickly move on is detrimental. This is a season when the body needs to mourn and mourn together! They need to see the situation dealt with justly. Many need to learn how forgive.

3. Quickly bring in a new pastor.

This knee jerk reaction assumes that the church simply had a personnel problem. Just bring in a new pastor and all will be well. That is using a business model to handle the leadership vacuum.

But if the leadership team doesn’t take the time to ask serious questions like: What just happened? Why did it happen? How did we not see this coming? How did our church culture contribute to this occurring? Who has been deeply impacted by this, and how are they struggling? –then all you’re doing is passing the problem on to the next pastor. Typically he will end up being an unintentional interim pastor (i.e. he won’t last 2 years).

4. We can move forward by DIY.

Andy Stanley has observed, “The longer you’ve served where you are and the longer you’ve done what you are currently doing, the more difficult it will be for you to see your environments with the objectivity needed to make the changes that need to be made. The shorter version: Time in erodes awareness of.” (Chapter 9, “Deep and Wide”)

The danger is to inadvertently minimize the breadth and depth of damage the pastor’s abrupt departure has caused. It’s easy for leadership team to assume “we know best” and that it has all the resources it needs to meet the challenge.

But again, wise is the leader(s) who appreciates the unique season the church has entered because of the quick exit of the pastor, and who seeks to gather outside godly counsel and resources to shepherd the church well.

5. Adding strict accountability will prevent this from happening again.

When it becomes public knowledge that the lead pastor’s choices were out of control, the reaction is often to exert a form of heavy-handed control motivated by fear. It is easy to think that an extreme form of accountability will both monitor and control the choices and behavior of others.

Appropriate boundaries are necessary when people live and work together, but rules and regulations won’t stop sinful behavior. This is Paul’s argument in Galatians 3. Take the time to carefully read Mark 7:14-23, for Jesus tells us it is what comes out of the heart that defiles a person. So instead of enforcing new rules and protocols, start a discussion of whether there is a safe environment in our church to talk about the struggles of our hearts.

There are obviously other knee jerk reactions to the abrupt departure by the pastor. If you’ve seen others that need to be mentioned, leave a comment below.

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If you know of a church that has recently lost their pastor in an abrupt manner, what the leadership team does in the first 90-days is critical to how their church will recover.

Coming April 1st is a workbook from TRM which addresses the issues. Use the sign-up form on the right to get advanced notification of discounts and how to get your copy of “Aftermath: Leading the Church After Abrupt Pastoral Transition”.   

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The Critical Strategy for a Messy Aftermath

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Moving Forward When the Way Isn’t Clear

The consistent joke made about men is when we don’t know where we’re going, we not only don’t admit it, but we resist stopping to ask for directions.

Now that is not universally true, but I know it’s a tendency in my own life. I have this distorted confidence I can “nose it out” and get where I need to be…eventually.

Now, if I’m alone in the car, and time is not a factor, then it’s typically no big deal. But if others are riding with me, then they can suffer for my unwillingness to ask for help.

Church leaders are thrust into uncharted territory when their lead pastor abruptly departs. Most have never been down this road before. This is not the time to assume you can get there on your own. There is too much at risk and the clock is ticking!

If you’re in this kind of situation, then you can count on one thing: the more abrupt the pastor’s exit, the more disruptive will be its impact in the church.

It’s not unusual for the leadership team to feel as if overnight the atmosphere in the church has shifted to VUCA-like conditions (vague, uncertain, complex, ambiguous). The combination of these elements creates a dense fog, or blizzard, which obscures the familiar, making it difficult to know which direction to head or what critical decisions to make.

So how do you lead in these less than perfect conditions?

When the lead or senior pastor abruptly departs, there is a strategy to follow. This strategy not only keeps the big-picture in mind, but when implemented, it will guide the choices and execution of the details.

There are 3 aspects to the strategy, and they build upon each other. If you are part of the church’s leadership team tasked with handling the messy aftermath details of an abrupt departure by the senior or lead pastor, here’s how to lead moving forward.

1. Lead yourself

The strategy starts with you. Begin by personally engaging in the impact of the abrupt departure. If you’re honest, your pastor’s quick exit has in some measure kicked-in the front door of your heart and brought pain, grief, disappointment, sadness, a sense of betrayal, anger, unanswered questions, and frustration.

Are you admitting this to yourself or just stuffing these emotions? Are you aware of how this is challenging your trust in the Lord? Are you laying awake at night puzzled by what happened and perturbed that it did happen? Has your confidence in other people been shaken? Is your confidence in your own spiritual maturity and discernment taken a hit?

Why does the strategy start with you? Because you can’t lead others where you haven’t gone. You can’t tell others to find their confidence and strength in the Lord when you haven’t.

If you try and lead in this challenging time without leading yourself first, it will feel like you’re driving the sheep, not shepherding from out front. Everyone around you needs your transparency and honesty that you are struggling just like they are.

As the Spirit of God comforts, heals and reminds you of God’s Word -then you are in the optimal place to move into the next two aspects of the strategy.

2. Lead the team

Your engagement with the emotional, spiritual, and mental struggles over your pastor’s quick exit allows you to have an influence in the collective heart of the leadership team. As a group, the team needs to grieve what happened, and support each other in the bewilderment. The team needs a climate of openness and transparency that doesn’t judge.

The leadership team has some critical work to do, and probing questions to ask. For the rapid departure of the lead pastor has brought the church into a new season, and its not going to feel the same for a while.

When each member of the leadership team starts with allowing the Lord to speak to their own hearts, then they can corporately hear the Lord comfort and guide them as a group.

When the team does that, it allows them to provide godly leadership in the third aspect of the strategy.

3. Lead the church

What does the church body need from its leaders when the lead pastor abruptly leaves? They need the leadership team to step-up and shepherd in five areas:

1. Truth telling: this is not the time to try and spin the facts out of a motive of damage-control. This is the time to tell the truth of what happened. The truth may be painful, but eventually it will provide for healing and cleansing.

2. Grief empowering: most believers don’t know how to grieve their losses. They need to be given permission to grieve. Provide an accepting environment where expressions of grief are not shut-down but accepted.

3. Body building: encourage the body to care for each other. Romans 12:15 tells us to weep with those who weep. We are to be safe people who love each other through difficult times, pray for each other, and comfort one another.

4. Support giving: some in the church will experience the loss of the pastor more deeply then others. They need special personal support and care. This is the time to make counselors available. Those who could use it need to know who to call and when they are available.

5. Biblical teaching: in the midst of trauma, sadness, and betrayal, the church needs to be reminded from God’s Word about faith, hope, and love. They need assurance that this didn’t take God by surprise. They need to see how the Lord works even through difficult times for the good of His church and His own glory.

The strategy starts with the individual leader, galvanizes the team, and then spreads to the church. So even when the aftermath of a lead pastor’s abrupt departure brings significant vagueness, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity to moving forward –this strategy will keep you on course.

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Coming soon in 2019!

On April 1st TRM will publish a workbook which helps church leadership teams navigate those critical first 90-days after an abrupt departure by their pastor. It will be available in either a digital or printed format. Click on the sign-up form on the right to receive helpful resources and advance notice of early release discounts.

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It’s Coming, Are You Ready?

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What is the most awkward question you have ever been asked? And what is the hardest question you have had to ask someone else?

Whenever we face a transition of any kind our instinctive reaction is to try to understand what is happening. For transitions represent change, and in the face of change we want to grasp its implications and impact. So naturally questions arise.

This is especially true when we encounter painful change or abrupt transition. At those times our questions pour out in a torrent and they are intense!

Your teenager calls to let you know they were in a wreck with your new car. What are our questions and what are your emotions? Are you okay? Is anyone hurt? Where are you? Was it your fault? Are the police there? How bad is the damage?

Then there are the questions that you don’t verbalize but are bouncing around in your mind. How are we going to function with one less car? What is this wreck going to do to my insurance premiums? Will my policy cover the loss? Should I “ground” my teenager?

When a church leadership team faces the aftermath of an abrupt departure by their lead or senior pastor, they can anticipate being bombarded by questions. They will not only have their own, but they will also be asked a boat-load by the church…and many of the questions will be intense! It may feel, at times, like you are the target of a firehose.

These questions can be grouped into four key areas:

  • Questions about the former pastor.
  • Questions about the leadership team.
  • Questions about the church.
  • Questions about themselves personally.

Questions will arise about the former pastor

  • What was the issue that caused their abrupt departure?
  • How long had this been going on?
  • How could he have done that?
  • Were other people involved? Who were they?
  • Did no one see this coming?
  • Was nothing done to prevent this, or correct this?
  • Was everything he said from the pulpit a lie?
  • I read or heard his confession, but how do I know he is sincere and not just sorry he got caught?
  • What does his severance package look like?
  • Are we offering him the opportunity to return?
  • Are we offering to pay for any restoration help?

Questions will arise about the leadership team

  • How long have you known this was going on?
  • How did you find out what our former pastor was doing?
  • How could you have not known this was going on long ago?
  • How did you handle the issue once you knew?
  • Are others on the leadership team involved in any of this?
  • Did the leadership team cover or hide what our former pastor was doing?
  • How can I know the leadership team is trust worthy?
  • What have you done so this will not happen again in our church?
  • Are you telling us everything, or just some of the truth?

Questions will arise about the church

  • What are we going to do without our pastor?
  • Is our church falling apart?
  • Are other things going on that we don’t know about?
  • What is going to change around here, and what will not?
  • Is our church a safe place?
  • Should I even keep attending here?
  • How do I respond to my friends when they mockingly bring up what our pastor did?
  • What are we going to do about the drop in giving and attendance?

Questions will arise about themselves

  • Why didn’t I see this happening?
  • I had a sense something was not right, but why didn’t I do something or say something about it?
  • Why didn’t the Lord stop this?
  • If our pastor could fall like this, what hope is there for me?
  • Am I safe being vulnerable to other spiritual leaders?
  • Is my faith in what God’s Word says a sham? Is this whole Christianity thing a cruel hoax?

Obviously, these are only a few of the questions that will arise when there is an abrupt departure of the senior pastor. But these will give the leadership team a sense of what they will face.

So, when you’re on the receiving end of the firehose, how is it possible to handle the torrent? There are a couple of key strategies to implement to be ready for these questions.

1. STRATEGY #1: The leadership team focuses on a commitment to embody truth.

When there is an abrupt departure this is not the time to figure out how to spin it. This is the time to tell the complete truth of what happened. This is the time to take responsibility, even if it means additional resignations because of intentional or unintentional complicity.

We are told to “speak truth” to one another (Eph.4:25), and that God delights “…in truth in the inward being” (Ps.51:6). If the lead pastor morally compromised himself, and that was the issue behind his quick exit, then that means for a period of time he was involved in lies, cover-ups, and half-truths. The church will be sensitive to this and will be watching the leadership team to see if they do it too.

2. STRATEGY #2: The leadership team focuses on a commitment to teaching the truth.

The abrupt departure of the senior pastor is not an unfortunate staff or employment change. The relationship between a pastor and the church is more like a family. The church is going to grieve the loss, and for some it will be traumatic.

This is the time to make sure that the church clings to the truth of God’s Word and God’s character. They need hope and confidence in what the Lord is doing for the Body. They need assurance that He is not punishing them, nor has He abandoned them.

Use the public group meetings to get everyone into God’s Word and point people to the promises and heart of God. Affirm that together you are going to trust Him even though it’s a painful season. Comfort the church that hoping in the Lord will not disappoint.

3. STRATEGY #3: The leadership team focuses on shepherding the church through their pain.

Abrupt, unexpected, and unwanted change brings pain because the change represents a loss. When people experience grief their questions will sound (and may actually be) accusatory since a grieving human heart often wants to find someone or something to blame. The leaders of the church will have to work hard not to take the questions personally, but to ask the Lord to help them shepherd in the midst of strong emotions.

To shepherd others through pain means being a safe person upon whom they can pour out their anger, frustration, disappointment, and confusion. Spiritual leaders in these situations practice the wisdom of James 1:19, “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”

Yet when there is a commitment to the first two strategies (embody truth and teach truth) then the leadership team’s transparency and their pointing the church to Christ will eventually restore hope when there has been broken trust.

For more information and insight into how to handle the first 90-days after an abrupt pastoral transition, check-out my other blog posts and also sign-up for my newsletter.

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When Your Pastor Implodes

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How church leaders can handle seismic upheaval in their church

Mike Dinneen – Associated Press

When the senior, or lead, pastor abruptly departs, it generates serious disruption in the church. It can look and feel like the church’s environment or tone has drastically changed overnight.

Those on church leadership teams have described the rapid shift they experienced like this:

  • “It felt as if we were hit by the combination of an earthquake and a tsunami.”
  • “A dense fog settled on the team, obscuring our choices and direction.”
  • “It was surprising to see in the church body the sudden expressions of strong emotions and diverse opinions.”
  • “How quickly relational unity was threatened as people took sides over what happened.”
  • “I’m astounded at how friends now viewed me and treated me as an antagonist.”
  • “The choices to make and direction to take were mired in VUCA-like conditions (volatility, uncertainty, complexity, ambiguity).”

Sound familiar? Everyone is caught off-guard by the suddenness of a pastor’s quick exit. Most everyone is shocked by what he did (when no one thought he would ever do that!). Everyone experiences the perplexity of relational turmoil which has been unleashed. 

What happened to us?

The leadership team, which is left to deal with the messy aftermath, often looks at each other with incredulity, “What just happened to us?” What happened is the church got ‘rupted’.

Rupt is the word root or stem which means to burst or break. From that root a number of English words are built with a prefix, or as part of a compound word. Each of those words describe an aspect of what has happened in your church.

The church got ‘rupted

Consider how ‘rupt’ typically operates in the story of a church when the lead pastor unexpectedly and quickly departs because of a moral implosion….

1. It all began with no warning, as he abruptly confessed what he had done, or had been doing (i.e. it came to light suddenly and surprisingly).

2. His admission was like an eruption, bursting forth, and spraying everyone with its damage.

3. His moral failure came from a corruption which had occurred. Something broke at his core, at a heart level.

4. Often his sinful choices were the outward expression of a bankrupt inner condition. His spiritual resources were exhausted or depleted.

5. His moral choices caused within him a rupture, as their consequences burst out of his life at the point of his brokenness.

6. His confession or admission interrupted the church’s focus on fulfilling its vision and mission.

7. His moral implosion also severely disrupted the life of the church as it broke the unity of the church as people took sides…as it broke what people believed and trusted…and as it broke the forward momentum of the ministry.

8. As a result, for a season, there is a spiritual rout as the pastor’s choices have burst upon the church and caused disorder and confusion. Some aspects of the church’s ministry can’t, or won’t, function as before. The ministry was moving forward, but now it appears to be in retreat.

What do we do now?

If a church body has been ‘rupted’, how does the leadership team handle the aftermath? Start by remembering the root concept: something has both burst and is broken. These two terms describe the consequences the church is facing, and they give direction on how the leadership team can respond.

Some of the consequences the church is struggling with are best described as a bursting out or forth. In other words, you’re dealing with a mess, with collateral damage. In these cases, approach the issue as a clean-up.

  • Potential clean up items: Truth needs to be told. Sin needs to be confessed and repented of. Appropriate consequences are applied to the offenders with grace and justice.

“You don’t get anything clean without getting something else dirty.”

Cecil Baxter

But in some cases of bursting, what is required is a work-around: creating new structures or arrangements which will replace what was, because the landscape has forever been changed.

  • Potential work-around items: There may need to be some resignations. Someone takes on new responsibilities, and some have responsibilities removed from their oversight. Former ministries are eliminated or replaced with a new approach.

So, how can leaders tell when their approach to a bursting-forth should be a clean-up and when is it a work-around? When an oil pipeline bursts, the environmental damage can be significant. But a quick and thorough clean-up response can minimize the consequences to plants and animals.

But when a volcano bursts with a lava flow, a clean-up is not possible for as the lava hardens it changes the landscape permanently. In this case the need is for work-arounds: life does go on, but it has been changed as roads, utilities, homes, etc. need to be rerouted or moved. 

The Lord will give wisdom to those who ask (James 1:5), in order that we might be discerning and appropriate in responding to the bursting-forth consequences.

On the other hand, instead of bursting, some of the consequences the church faces are best described as a break. In those situations, the first response by the leadership is to repair what broke or was damaged.

  • Potential repair items: Counseling is required for continued employment or to receive a severance package. Loving accountability is used as a part of repairing broken trust. Experts are brought in to give corrective or healing teaching and training. Special shepherding initiatives are taken to help with loss, grief, and broken trust.

Or, in those cases where matters can’t be repaired then the need is to replace.

  • Potential replacement items: Bring new people onto the leadership team who weren’t associated with the past. Use the services of an interim pastor during the transition. Change the church’s org chart of responsibilities and accountability.

Moving forward in the aftermath

Now, your church situation is totally unique, so there is no one “right way” for how all leadership teams should respond to the bursting and brokenness of their pastor’s moral implosion. But the above suggestions will give you a pathway to consider.

The danger in most churches, when the senior pastor has exited quickly, is for the leadership team to minimize the impact he has caused. Here’s the reality: the more ‘rupts’ involved in the pastor’s exit, the more ‘rupts’ will exist in the church. Count on it, the more abrupt the lead pastor’s departure, the more disruptive it will be for the church.

Wise are the church leaders who see it, and then lovingly, patiently, and thoroughly seek to deal with the bursts and breaks.

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Moving Forward after a Setback

When engaging a VUCA environment in your church appears daunting

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Photo by Chen Yichun on Unsplash

One of ironies of leading a church through change is that it can be either the source of our greatest joy, or the cause of our deepest misery.

The experience of change can bring either pain or pleasure….change is behind why sometimes we throw confetti and other times we grab for another Kleenex.

When a church experiences an abrupt pastoral transition, it quickly enters a painful season of change. And for the leadership team, dealing with the aftermath, this season can be confusing and threatening. The change has thrown you into the dark, and it feels as if we’re groping our way forward blindly. (more…)

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Finding Confidence to Lead in VUCA Moments -Part 3

Shepherding not from a distance, but with your presence

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Photo by Leio Mclaren from Unsplash

Being on a church’s leadership team is not for the faint of heart!

As I’ve mentioned in the first 2 parts of this blog (here and here), there will come seasons that are best described as VUCA. It’s when the environment of the church is volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous.

A VUCA season creates immense challenges for church leadership teams. For you have to lead in the midst of disorder and chaos. Former solutions or approaches don’t work. It’s difficult to get your head and hands around the problem.

In times like this, leaders can wonder if they bring anything helpful to the table. In times like this, leaders consider stepping down. In times like this, leaders hesitate because they don’t have confidence in navigating their current situation.

(more…)