When the senior pastor abruptly leaves his church, each member of the leadership team is shoved-out of their comfort zone. Who was prepared or trained to lead through this kind of chaotic transition? Most church leaders feel this is definitely out of their pay-grade!

Why is that our reaction? Why do we feel so awkward to lead in situations like this?

Let me ask, when was the last time you flew on an airplane? Remember the emergency exit instructions printed on that card in the seat-back pocket in front of you? The diagram describes what you do and where you go in case of an emergency (which you hope never happens). But what it doesn’t tell you is how it will feel to experience an emergency and how others will react!

That’s what it’s like when the senior pastor abruptly leaves. His quick exit has created an emergency. The church body is rocked by his crash landing. People have all kinds of questions, all kinds of emotions, and all kinds of reactions.

Tough stuff to handle. So, how do leaders shepherd in this messy situation? It’s important to understand that what may look like chaos, actually has a common thread tying it all together. Grab hold of that thread, and it will help you lead well and shepherd well through pastoral transition.

The common thread I identified in my last blog: everyone is grieving. But not everyone is grieving in the same way. And that is what looks like bedlam. Being aware of how the intensity of grief affects emotions and reactions, allows a leader to make sense of the chaos.

Those who work in grief recovery have identified how people experience painful events. The closer a person is mentally, physically and relationally to the epicenter of that painful event, the more intense their grief may be.

Let’s look at the 4 key areas, and how they build on each other….especially as grief intensifies.

STRESS

It’s natural for people to experience stress due to a painful event. But stress is not grief. Stress is the emotional and mental pressure, tension or strain that adversity or a painful event causes. But if “loss” is only hypothetical but not a reality, then it remains only stress.

LOSS

This is when and where a person begins to grieve. Something or someone is irreparably gone; we have suffered a loss. That sense of “separation” causes us to ache, to feel an emptiness, or deep sadness. The intensity of loss is closely tied to the replaceability of what we lost. Loss of a cell phone is vastly different than the loss of a child.

CRISIS

This is loss which throws us off balance and into a state of shock, panic, and uncertainty. The painful event is seen as a serious disruption to the balance of life. A person may feel like they can’t cope with the loss they suffered. Life feels out of control, insecure, and they are helpless.

TRAUMA

This is the most intense form of loss, and the grief expressions include all that has been mentioned under stress, loss and crisis. But in addition, trauma is a wounding which overwhelms the senses. A person feels numb (no feelings) and disoriented (can’t think straight). Trauma literally changes our brain chemistry and disrupts the connection for how the right and left side of the brain process information.

Proverbs 27:23 speaks to church leaders who are shepherding their church through pastoral transition, “Know well the condition of your flocks, and give attention to your herds…”

When there has been an abrupt departure by the senior pastor, the leadership team is tasked to care for the variety of emotions and reactions. It’s not a chaotic mess! Your people are responding normally. Understanding the intensity of their grief can give you compassion, and the insight into what each person needs.

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If your church has just begun a painful pastoral transition, click here for how your leadership team can benefit from the Urgent Care ministry of TRM.